The roots of leadership — love
The root of empathy is love.
It’s always tricky to talk about love in the context of leadership but I happen to believe in the kind of leadership that puts others first, that tries to make lives better, and that is willing to sacrifice for a cause greater than self.
And isn’t that kind of what love is all about? Not romantic love but otherly-love. Yes, I think I just invented a word but let’s roll with it.
Much has been written about servant leadership and you probably don’t need me to recap the key points. Here’s a short summary of the idea credited to Robert K. Greenleaf, considered to be one of the first to represent this model of leadership.
“The difference manifests itself in the care taken by the servant-first to make sure that other people’s highest priority needs are being served. The best test, and difficult to administer, is: Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society? Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived?“
Love seems essential to this mode of leading. The kind of otherly-love that inspires us to seek the best of and for those we lead. Love that encourages us to get to know who the people we serve are, the challenges they face, and what they aspire to in life — not just what they do.
If it feels strange or unprofessional to declare openly that you love the people you lead, that’s fine. But that doesn’t prevent you from believing that for yourself putting it at the center of your leadership — if you have the courage.
Love inspires you to be the kind of leader who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, to connect, to encourage, and to sacrifice.
Love reminds you when you need to have the difficult conversations, to intervene, to address a situation where someone is hurting themselves, or others.
Love drives you to make the right choice even when it is the hard choice because the people you love are watching.
If empathy is the key to emotional intelligence — love opens the door to the most sincere expression. We listen not just to understand or because we should, but because we truly care about the person right in front of us. We want to be present and a source of reassurance and we can do that because we have taken time to know them, we are for them and want to help them through their challenges.
Maybe this is a bridge too far for some of you who see leadership as a profession and any emotional or personal investment as impractical. But if you are one of the people who do this not just for a title or as a career and want to make meaning out of this difficult work, I invite you to embrace love as part of your leadership vocabulary and philosophy.
When you reach the end of this journey and all the projects and problems have faded into dust, only the acts of love will remain. The lives you influence will touch other lives and your acts of love will ripple out into the world in ways you may never know.
“The way we lead impacts the way people live.” — Bob Chapman
If you’d like to learn more about my work or how I might be able to assist you in your leadership journey through a personal and practical coaching experience please contact me here.
